vines.

I have discovered a secret of living life in the midst of chaos- abiding. I have been on a faith journey of searching for my place in Him.

Earlier this year, after the whirlwind of traveling with a music group, I asked myself, "Why do I feel like I've wasted the last 9 months of my life?" I couldn't put my finger on it. Although others had insight into some of the very apparent mistakes that I brought myself into, I could not grasp why there was a void. Despite all of the things that went wrong that were truly out of my hands, I felt like there a missing piece of the picture. I felt far removed from God at my own doing. Eventually, I moved on...without ever getting a real answer.

However, a couple of days ago, I started analyzing the unsolved problem that I had in the place of prayer. I was determined to understand where my heart was in that period in my life. Suddenly, out of no where, a prophetic singer sang, "I am the branch, and You are the vine...wherever You are, there will I be also!" I opened my Bible and started the journey of learning to abide.

John 15:5-7 "I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned. If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you."

Something in my heart brought me back to the difficult times of this year, and I realized the haunting truth that I had allowed myself to be separated from the vine. Through all of the turmoil and confusion, I gave up on praying, reading my Bible, and even worshiping. I didn't abide in love. I didn't abide in God. I justified my fallen state with the claim of being mistreated and misused.

However, in one moment, the light of God's word shattered the reality that I had forsaken first things. I did waste 9 months of my life...not because someone mistreated me or because I was busy but because I had cut myself off from the source of life and goodness.

When I thought about the nature of vines, I realized they can roam anywhere. They can spread over un-fertile soil, lifeless rocks, and houses while still remaining alive. Also, the plants that stem from the vine grow and produce color and fruit.

This passage in John took on a new dimension for me. I realized that even though I seemed to going through a place of un-fertile soil and lifelessness, I had a choice to remain attached to a vine that would give me the strength to produce fruit and life. However, I chose to disassociate myself from the vine. I was cast away and withered. It was the grace of God that I had people to pray for me and re-attach me to the vine.

So now, with the semi-hectic schedule and to-do lists, I have found that keeping myself attached Jesus continually keeps me alive. I can't live without Him.

Background Music: Luke Woods singing "Worthy is the Lamb." He truly declares the beauty and majesty of Jesus better than any I've heard.

humanity's condition...and the remedy

Jesus' leadership is perfect.

And humans hate it intrinsically.

Yet, he gives us the opportunity to embrace it despite our unbelief. Thus, the cry of "Lord, I believe, but help my unbelief."

Thus, allowing us to cling to life.

So...once the oil sees the light...all the pieces of dust can be seen and removed.

Oil of the Lord flow down from the Heavens and never stop flowing. Your water is good and your wine is sweet.

So, I will believe the very words of Eternity and kiss the Son!

-dallas

random thoughts...

So I'm sitting in a coffee shop at 9 o'clock at night all by myself.

And though I do enjoy the solitary moments in life...rather I wish they were more frequent...I am finding myself not particularly happy about this situation.

I'm not sad about it.

Or even lonely.

Just a bit disappointed.

Usually, solitude causes one to enjoy self-reflection. Or rather endure it...depends on the day.

But my mind is drawn to other places right now...

And all the while a familiar scripture rattles my mind...my yoke is easy, my burden is light...

True Prayer

I have come to the conclusion that prayer should never be results oriented.

Why?

Because Jesus' leadership is perfect.

It's the longing of His heart that we come in agreement with Him.

When we pray, and truly pray in the spirit...we come into the knowledge of Him...thus reconciling us back to His heart.

Prayer is not just supplication but rather a doorway into the Holy...the Holiest One...

He never stops longing, so I'll never stop praying...

He is searching for a resting place where man is reconciled with creator...and He isn't resting...and thus the reason behind incessant prayer has become so logical...it won't stay that way, I'm sure...He never likes us to measure Him with human understanding...but I pray that my spirit will come into the knowledge.

guess what?

God has an opinion about EVERYTHING.

It's called truth.

Guess what?

Humans have an opinion on everything.

Indifference is really just a notion of not wanting to confront reality and formed opinion...not to be confused with ignorance, which is the lack of knowledge to form an opinion.

resting place.

i have found myself in constant pursuit of a resting place.

and I have discovered God's only wish...to rest within me.

Throughout the ages, He's been in pursuit of onething...a resting place within the heart of man.

The rage and fury of His heart is birthed out of this violent longing.

I want to devote my life to creating that place for Him.

God give me grace...because I feel the fury of your heart.

the key.

So, the other night I went to Chipotle to gather with many IHOPers for the free burrito madness. Yes, I even donned a piece of aluminum foil.

While I was eating, a little boy no older than four came up to me with a piece of foil wrapped around his neck. He said, "Hey! This looks like a cross...YEA!...no, wait...it looks like a prison key!"

I think the little guy was on to something.