that you may be healed...

ok, folks...

confession time.

here goes nothing...

i lack confidence. it's something i earnestly desire...and it really hurts to notice that i don't have it.

i'm noticing how it affects the way i act in social environments.

it also affects my perception of others...

i'm heartwrecked right now...

but this is good...that i may be healed.

Tune in my head: "There's a power in poverty that brings principalities and demons down to their knees..."

i'm still curious...

pre-trib...post-trib...

this is a new thing that i've been interested in.

i know what i believe...but i want to hear opposing viewpoints.

please...tell me what you think...only then will i tell you what i think.


and give evidence of your stance.

there's a certain pride that comes with immaturity...

Each day, it seems that I am, in some way, confronted with the youthful pride that has plagued most of my generation...it's rather humbling. The way that it creeps up on me is when I notice it in others...I'll get a chip on my shoulder, until I realize that their spoken immaturity matched that of my heart.

I think it has something to do with the community I've chosen to live in. IHOP is comprised of mainly young adults...90% of us are under the age of 25...however, the brokeness of mind and heart have become a major focus with all of us...

When I survey those that actually moved the heart of God, it seems as though that they may have started out with youthful zeal and vigor...and through the test of time...grew thick skin and gray hair...

I found myself wanting gray hair today.

Wisdom would be so nice.

Background music while writing: Luke Wood's worship band...singing an intercessory chorus for the people of Jerusalem..."Break in and save souls!"

in the secret devotion.

In class today, our teacher talked about how the Lord will reveal all hidden things.

However, the common misconception is that He will embarrass us. Eventually, WE will be the great secret givers. No matter what's hidden, we will reveal it.

I kinda chuckled at this. It was sobering to know that all the secret sins, if not handled, will be revealed by my own mouth.

However, a couple weeks ago, I was journaling. I wrote:

"In the secret devotion of my heart, move the biggest."


I wanna see what He does.

Background Music: Grace Kim's Worship with the Word. singing in the spirit...so nice.

Gourmet Grilled Cheese.

I happen to like good food.

So much so that I would pay double the price of something if even there was the hint that it would taste better than usual.

I found myself at Dean & Delucca today-one of my favorite food stops the next state over, and I decided I wanted a grilled cheese sandwich.

I remember when I was younger, the usual grilled cheese was made with American, processed cheese imitation with bleached flour bread. It was fried in a skillet with margarine, and served up on a paper towel with a side of tomato soup.

Well, I think I've matured quite a bit, seeing as the grilled cheese sandwich that was my lunch/dinner had mozzarella and provolone cheese with a garlic pesto. It was served on whole grain bread and wrapped in butcher paper. The side of choice was steamed broccoli and a bag of my favorite chips in the world, ZAPS.

Delicious.

friend.

So this morning in Worship with the Word, one of the singers sang an oracle that went something like this-

"Throughout the ages, You have many servants, but so few friends."

After the worship set, she explained the song. She said in the Bible, there are only 3 people that were called the friends of God. There were many that knew His will and His ways, but so very few were brought into the fellowship of friendship.

I think that above all else, I should wish to make my life about a friendship with Him.

Forget the works, let's talk about His heart.


background music: Grace Kim singing an intercessory chorus-"Your kindness leads us to repentence."

amish folks

Last night I was in the prayer room and was engrossed in a Wikipedia article about the Amish.

These people live their entire lives with the intention of driving away all venues of vanity.

They are aggressively and intentionally living humble lives.

I wonder what they will look like in the age to come...

hmmm...

background music: God TV recording for Daily Devotional...Misty is the worship leader this time.